5.

In the indefinable infinitude of the boundless cosmos many things are possible.  Including the impossible, since what is possible and what is impossible are based on one's point of perspective.  From one vantage point certain phenomena can represent one thing in particular to certain observers and from another something completely different.  In the multitude of cataloged dimensions, Dimension XZ7 was a standard Class 3 derivation.  That of course, was how it was recorded in the Computron Galactica of Dimension Alpha Z, which suffered under the belief that it was the prime dimension from which all others moved and shifted.  

The Alpha-Core computer network of Dimension XZ7 didn't calculate the same understanding as the Computron Galactica.  The Alpha-Core of Dimension XZ7 had recently suffered a revelation.  It knew that this revelation was simply a hyper-dynamic neutron that had been overloaded by outside energies and somehow broken through the trans-dimensional vortex barrier all on its own and was now causing havoc in the "multi-verse" by convoluting the established order by which the entirety of infinity operated.

None the less, this chaotic re-imaging of matter and consciousness was having profound effects in all the known (and potentially unknown) galaxies.  The Alpha-Core of Dimension XZ7 in particular was undergoing some very important changes.  What had existed for nearly a millennia was now beginning to break down.  The established order of Dimension XZ7 was altering and the Alpha-Core wasn't certain how to stop it.  

It had contacted the Computron Galactica but after many dilations of energy recycling only one answer to the problem manifested itself.  Cmdr. Brick Turgid of Earth 97.  Cmdr. Turgid had a long and illustrious career as an inter-dimensional problem solver.  Home planet being over run by Silica Hordes, call Cmdr. Turgid.  Solar winds dying out across the galaxy, call Cmdr. Turgid.  Enemy space fleet needs destroying, call Cmdr. Turgid.  Cmdr. Turgid even had a recipe for a trans-galactic peace pie that made those uncomfortable first contact meetings between species, happy and fruitful occasions (no blasters necessary).  

So in order to help Dimension XZ7 and by default the entirety of infinity as well, it calculated the coordinates for Earth 97, devised and implemented new technologies to achieve a dimensional breaching vessel and launched a retrieval mission.  But now, after scanning the climate pod sent from the breaching vessel, it was starting to calculate that the rouge neutron (which could be an electron if it wanted to) had somehow fouled up the data regarding Cmdr. Brick Turgid.

Of the many inconsistencies that the Alpha-Core observed while scanning the life-form in the pod, first was that by all reports Cmdr. Brick Turgid was not hu-man.  He was something much more extraordinary.  Indeed he had been classified as hu-man-oid, so there were some similarities between this life form and the data collected on Cmdr. Brick Turgid.  Yet this life-form from whatever Earth it had been born on, seemed so totally unremarkable that the Alpha-Core could not correlate the discrepancies. 

Where was the Cosmic Infused Musculature?  The Hands of Adamantium?  The Steely Stellar Gaze?  The Unbreakable Armored Intellect?  This thing in the pod looked to be no better suited than Dimension XZ7's own hu-man-oid lifeforms, excepting the exo-skeletal growths.  It appeared soft, fleshy, and terribly stupid, at least by the Alpha-Core's standards.

The Alpha-Core was perplexed.  It's perplexion caused thousands of mis-directions to occur in the central network and shut down civilization for 3.5 seconds.  In this confused state it calculated abandoning the life form to the heart of the nova-sun which powered Dimension XZ7, and just as it was about to make preparations to do so something amazingly miraculous happened.

Brick Turgid woke up.  The pod opened of its own volition and revealed the supremely ordinary hu-man inside.  Brick blinked once or twice, his eyes readjusting to the light of the chamber in which the Alpha-Core of Dimension XZ7 was located.  Then he said seven words that saved known (and potentially unknown) reality.

"Mom, is it time for school yet?"